HI there,I'm carol from Ipoh =) Curently studying at Utar, Perak campus. Hope you enjoy reading ;D
|I'm back!!~
tis few days didn't write blog ler.. Sunday, September 28, 2008 * 11:19 PM
1st, no line!
2cd, cant use local area connection!! sux.. setting prob~~ yerr....
3rd, house line slow.
4th, busy dreaming!!
5th, wait bb sms me till forget blogging .. kakakakka =X
6th, thinking on something...... zzzz
i think i must say something lor..
if not, no people understand me wor..
nobody know what i want...
write is better than say de...
i feel myself very bad le somehow.
he write there 'i miss last year de today!'
actually after my NS, i got try to find u back.
but i was like... no feel anymore.
when i be with u, i really cares but i dont have the feeling of future.
i dont mean to play your feelings.. but i just... don't.
and somehow, your attitude? not to say attitude.. erm, like i see all th way u treat people.
its like.. u're not my type that i want lo..haih.
i dont know how to say ler..
i hope u understand lar..
i dont want to mention anything, cuz i just want u to be yourself.
i dont want u to change because of me..
i just want to be a real person...
i though i explained it last time.....i hope u know k.
i dont wish to give up... i just dont wish to continue lying to myself.
im sorry!! =]
all the time we had together had been keep as the memories..
its a part of our life..
come & let go~
** to be contine.. ahaks
lazy ard... kui3
|another day...
dar..i shouldn't think like that ler yesterday... Wednesday, September 24, 2008 * 10:40 PM
but sometimes i can't... yesterday u say like that really hurt le =(
but i no angry u lar^^
u are my bb mer...
bb i very miss u ler...
today do nothing ar..
just pui bb sms awhile lo..
bb so guai go daddy office wor today..
but go there talk with girls only la...
hahaha ^^ bb no do things de..
just be siu ye zai there... lols
i not same ler... i go JPJ with daddy ar..
by van nia... sun burning. no air cond.
but enjoying ler...can pui daddy mer... =D
today woke up at 1pm.
actually plan to go Clearwater Sanctuary with WaiKit nia..
but he suddenly tell me he got call from college ler..
maybe.... its da faith. hohoho~~~
then end up go eat with Eric lor.. since so long never see him =)
then i say KongChun lor..haha
paktor at MarryBrown.
then they walk back home very funny de... like the girl's security guard.
what to do... her mom doesn't allow her to have bf.
and yau he scared!!....
but they happy in this way ar! we nothing to say lor =P
after that play McD game lo cause think of bb.
haha.. not bad ler.. but i always bankrupt ler.. siao larr!!
so angry.. the cow never grow like that..
the people no burger sell.... yerr
if i do business ar, sure die jor de XD
today mr.sel ask me why i take BA le..
i dont know how to answer him...because i also don't quite know.
shit ar. haih... so big liao do what also dont know de.haih..
but i know this road which i choose is good de.. hmmm
i should have told him im interested in.
bb sleeping wor.
dont know he eat mei ler?
bath mei ler?
why so tired de wor?
hmm.... miss him so much ler^^
muackss!~
i love my pig bb . hehehe =D
FIVEdays didnt see LamHong ler..hmm...
|i really dont understand..
ar.. Tuesday, September 23, 2008 * 11:28 PM
b i told what i want to tell u just now actually.
i also dont understand..
if we know we are not belong to each other in the future, why still carry on?
i hate doing things that dont have result and ending in the end.
i really didnt angry you.
i was angry myself for loving you.. really.
why can i being so stupid??
..............................no right to say that i am wrong, bcuz we are in the same ship.
i know why u doesnt seems like care me alot.
because im not your gf. i know..dats y..
when u need me, u will come to me.
when u dont need me, you will leave me alone.
i know.....
is it too late to know?
sometimes when i think back,
i also dont know why i love some1 who is not my bf? why ah??
is not like... i dont have ppl to love me?
haih.. i know somewhere is wrong, but i just couldnt stop myself from doing it.
i know u will think... i yuan yi de..
yea, i am...
im wrong..........
i need people to respect me for who i am.
i dont worth that way..
i know one day, i will be success and besides me will be someone who will hold me hand and leads me to where i am belong...
i am the girl who will always put LOVE in front.
without love, we wont be here in this very second...
|wondering.. pondering..... powderful??
yesterday went sauna at Perdana..its very hot nia.. like going to faint inside that hand-made box room. haha...
after the 30mins inside the box, i tak tahan d..
i sit outside and take in air..by the time, i only understand what is the meaning of real hot.. lols
whole body wet.. cloths wet, hair wet... then face red like red red apple - blushing. ^^
after the progress, going back home.
i heard the car emergency brake sound... *bom*
i was freak off, my mum said she didnt heard anything.
then i ignore it and keep on driving.
suddenly when i was about the junction of petronas,
i saw something huge in the middle of road..
i was totally blur for a moment.. i though it was a dog..
but then my mum clarify that it was a human.. a man!! lying on the double line without moving.
i was like ' omg! what the hell happened?'
i saw the HILUX who had hit the man came out the car and was calling for help.
my mum was screaming?? swt.. she please me to drove off. lols
'BUT i not yet finish watching la, my dear!'
'just go.. just go!! later he asked our help!!'
'hmm.... okay *haih* '
i drove off and she talked about it till we reached home.. haha
when i stops at the gate, she went out the car and reach for my dad and tell the story again.. hahaks
so cute ler she! muahh!!~
feels so hungry nia... took a bath and saw bb's msg. hehe
he just wake up kot? when i tried to call him, he was bathing nia...
pig ler ^@^
he asked me to on9, but then my mum was shouting and asked me to eat.
hurmm.... whatever~
after eat, ran upstair to on9 then find bb chat lo..
bb so cute jo er.. after cut hair^^ hehe...
feel like wan hugsssss and kisssss him gam.. hoho *paiseh-paiseh*
miss u so much ler dar dar!
b i not understand er..
b say im not ur gf.
but y say brake up le? [ keep the ily till when i say wanna brake n show it to me]
haih... wondering~~~~
weird weird nia...still don't understand what is the relation between us.
at night couldn't fall asleep?? wtf.
its been so long i didn't wear the braces.
when i wore it yesterday, i couldn't sleep tight. swt.
pain... grrrr...
woke up at 6.30am......
finally, i gave up.. i went toilet n took it off..
but still i couldnt fall asleep until 7.30am when bb text me.. haihs.
so cham... T.T
promise mama wanna go pasar pagi... but no go also.
couldn't wake up nia.. didn't sleep well at night.
sorry mum..^^
I reached shop after brunch with mama..hehe
miss the food.
miss the village that i always go went my grandma is still alive.
duh... one year i didn't see her ard..
time passing so fast....
dont know how she is doing now.... *_*
*no matter how far the distance tare us away, you are still close in my mind*
|sunday *1*
today woke up at 1.30pm ??? Sunday, September 21, 2008 * 7:33 PM
yesterday i was asleep at 4am, i couldnt fall aslp.
i miss him, i miss kampar... i miss everything =(
yesterday before coming back from kampar,
i was alone in the room.
when i wake up, i was thinking to find bb for lunch.
but then when i was real awake, i only realized he left kampar n he should be at home now sleeping.
wth am i blurring about?? lols
i guess i really miss him so much.
this few weeks always meet him - morning and night.
haihs....
i feel uneasy being alone now in hometown.
i hope my friend will spend their time on me a little so i wouldnt think too much.
just come back from parade,
at first i bought nothing..
i dont even interested on the cloths.
not my style anymore even my mum wanna buy for me.. ahaks
at last she went to 'the next shop'.
then i was like... 'nah, this is what i wanted'
i pick up a tube dress. white in colour with many white circle&bubble.
its real cute... when i saw it, i was thinking i wanna show bb & ask for his opinion.. kaka.
too bad he's not around..wuuwuu T.T
its not costly, its only around rm50+
pay by credit card + my mum stuff around rm100+.
yeh... like it too mUch^^
bought a short in my fav colour.
yey.. i was kinndderr happy. i can fit on S size short at last..hahaha =D
then went off the shopping mall n had dinner - ngar bou kai fan!
so full now... hehe.. so long didnt eat nice food ard.. yey!!~ happy2.
wanna off9 ard, bb no reply me.
he's busy kot.
hm, nvm lar...^^
i miss you!
_[ I believe that I'm yours! ]_
|
FUCK THAT SHIT. Friday, September 19, 2008 * 12:22 AM
I HATE PEOPLE DOING THINGS THAT I DONT LIKE.
AND PURPOSELY DOING IT.
I TELL U WHAT?
I DONT GIVE A DAMN.
COME ON....
i though after exam is a.... fuckin heaven for me to relax.
i hate this place now.. fuckin asshole.
|numbers driving me crazy..
today having maths for business & social sciences. Monday, September 15, 2008 * 7:02 PM
its really driving me crazy..
im lack of exercise which makes me no confident to do it..
many questions popping up when i jotting down the answer in the answer sheet.
i keep stopping to answer for mostly every question...wtf?
what on earth am i doing?
i worry about resit now...
i dont wanna take extra subject for the next sem.
its totally make me more stress and depress next semester.
I DONT WANT!
is there any way to escape from this?
save me from falling down.
the thread no longer strengthen enough to hanging on..
i scared falling.. its dying.
arrgghh...
somewhere around, i know there's someone who will always support me.
da one who i promise to stay around when he need me.
da one who make me laugh when im down.
da one who fight with me everyday [=
da one who can keep me up and down in the same time.
da one who i never bore seeing him every second..
i love him ^__^
i love the way u make me feel.... =D
do u?
|not feeling well..
just came back from Ghany with Nix them. Sunday, September 14, 2008 * 2:31 AM
suddenly feeling not well...
bad flu and headache.
not in mood to study today..
feels like nobody cares....
i know..I used to think a lot when I'm alone...
i just dont feel like i am myself now..zzz
why cant i just dont care so much like i used to be last time?
im not happy because i care too much...
and i dont get what i care about.
why should i care??
who understand ne??
so depressed when get into this.
the more i care, the more it goes...
the more i try to keep it up, it keeps falling apart...
where is the strength to keep me holding on??
feels like dying hanging on the thread in the middle of the busy road.
everybody keeps moving forward and i keeps hanging on. wtf???
how to care free?? i want to be like what i used to be last time when i not depending on.
dats da reason why i choose not to depend on...
atlast i did... to be regret or regretted.
life still moving on...
even in the busy road OR the isolated place..
.......................................too much to care about.
not much in return.. haih~~
|english test.
uh, finally its da first day of final exam today.. Tuesday, September 9, 2008 * 1:50 AM
its english test!! wuuhuu...
thank god its not as hard as i though^^
i still can manage to finish everything on time..
my essay topic is 'travel & its benefit' [=
kinda lots of crap to put in the essay.LOLs
duh, after the exam.. i was in a real hungry.
omg, i dont want to have maggie again cuz before exam i ate it once.
no ppl can accompany me again...
and i force myself to sleep on my lil bed...
missing my mum like hell... =(
if im at home, sure she could get me something to eat.
nobody can replace my mum * deep deep in heart*
really nobody....... =[
mum, i love you.
woke up at 8pm+..
wondering, who can eat with me again.
out of sudden i think of Sam, i owe him a drinks.
so i ask him out.
no choice.
i know...when i need him, he wont be there....
hope you will recover soon. =]
i feel like... i can do anythg for you, but not in return.
when u need me, you will by my side..
when u dont need me, i'm just left a side.
haih~ tired!! very tired...
many many small mistakes will be a big burden in the end of day..
Footprints In The Sand
You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I’m going
You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much I no along the way
Then I heard you say
I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled
with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints
in the sand
I see my life
Flash across the sky
So many times have I
Been so afraid ooh
And just when I
Have thought I’ve lost my way
You give me strength to carry on
That’s when I heard you say
I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled
with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints
in the sand
When I’m weary
Well I no you’ll be there
And I can feel you
When you say
I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is full of
sadness and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints
in the sand
When your heart is filled
with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints
in the sand
.............................**wink**
So, i won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate
I'm yours....
gonna start study...haiz~
muacks for myself...kiakiakia^^
|exAm fever..
just finished my Economics. Thursday, September 4, 2008 * 3:27 AM
its a great achievement since i hardly finish a textbook before exam.lols
damn hungry now....
no ppl pui me eat dinner...so i just had a bit of fried rice bought by Rick at P.M.
duh!!~ w2d..
its better than yesterday that i didnt eat dinner at all... LOLs
wanna continue with maths now...
im not tired, i just taking care of my health..
its not good to sleep so late due to imbalance hormones in the body..^^
haih.. my bitbit died last friday(29august08).
kinda lonely without him suddenly...
U just come and goes like dat... ='(
i misss u so.....i miss ur white white fur..
is it my fault that i gave too lil of food everyday?
or play to harsh with u that night?
hmm.... whats gone is never returned.
i worry about Matthew again.
i hope he alright..
he's real weird just now.. he never been in this way b3fore.
[ i love miiiiikiey nehh !!! ]
uh... duh! so suddenly.. *_*
i miss home..
always feeling emo&lonely in this middle of night..
oh yea, just visited a website www.worldvision.com.
uh, stoping by the world vision experience : AIDS
wonder too many things just now....LOLs
if im rich, i sure will donate la...seems that im just a student...suan ba... LOLs
duh..... see
AIDS in Africa
* two-third of all ppl living with HIV are in Africa.
*two-third of all new HIV infections are in Africa.
*three-quarters of all AIDS-related death are in Africa. . in the place that's home o just over one-tenth of the world population.
shhoooot... nearly 6k ppl die every day because of AIDS.. . . . another person dies every 15second.
duh..this crises will not go away by itself..how to help them le?
give condom and teach them how to use??lol.
ok la... time to slp ^^
nights..
GO TO THE BEACH
LOST WORLD Tambun