I don't know what had happened to me this few day.
I don't have reason why i alive in this world.
I just don't know what the purpose of having me in this world?

I feel so alienated, moody, stress, betrayed....etc.
I don't understand why.....??!!
nobody knows what i'm thinking.

I been leave alone in the corner of the world.
nobody around to care about me.
I dont want people to ask me why.
i just need 'certain' people to stay besides me.
its enough ard.
who could be the one?
i know you should know it by yourself.

i wish someone could brighten up my day.
who??
me myself dont know who.

why want to leave me alone blooding?
who could bleed me?

if alcohol can cure, i will consume a tons.
if tears can help, i will drain the pool.
if friends can make me better, but i got alots.
if loving is killing, i will KILL myself now.
shit.



i need people to appreciates me..




i need love..


lalalaalllla~
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|I wanna put U and I apart!!~

Friday, June 13, 2008 * 1:45 AM

so, here I am in the middle of night again.
thinking of you...sigh!
wondering why should i being so stupid to fall into you?
why cant i just get you off my head?
why is it so hard to not to think about you?
why is it so hard to love... and its just happen to be only me to carry on everything?
where are you when i need you?
where is the one i wish HIM to appear in some of the time, but he doesnt?
why its just happen to be only one who love?
i felt lonely here even friends is all around me.
where is the love for me?
im too lonely without your news for weeks that made me feel a decades.
im too lonely without your smile. =X

i wish that anyone is besides me now when i feel like crying.
i need a shoulder to cry on and a roof to shed for.
i need someone that will support me in whatever i do.
One who understand what i want without a word.
One who know what im thinking deep inside.




= I wanna delete U in my memory, and left I alone in this lonely town=

Am i worth this?

i hope NOT! =(

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|bloody hell tiring!!~

Tuesday, June 3, 2008 * 10:11 PM

i dont know how the Utar time table working.
u know what? i was having 7hours class starting from 8am.
i have to wake up very early in the morning around 6.30am to eat my breakfast before the class because we really dont have time for it man.
its just 30mins off every subject for 1.5hours until 2pm.gosh.
is this tutoring or what? idk la..
its real tired and how to concentrate for a long hour of class??!
i dont really understand.
sometimes i found myself dreaming and blurring all the while.aha.
but its still fun la because i knew new friends today - fish cake and kelvin the patriotic one.aha
really glad to meet them, they crack stupid jokes.
cure sleepiness sometimes.lols
fish love to eat seafood XD
he's telling seafood mostly over hundred times in the 2hours of lecturer English language class.haha
he just sms me, planing to have breakfast together tomorrow morning.
see how la..
oh ya, Shirley maybe wanna move in my house after July.
she dont have transport.
actually, im glad to because i got friend to talk and crazy with.aha =p
aiya, no pictures tim. she deleted it la today.
she say she looked ugly then she deleted it.
actually who cares la... da point is she and me is there ma.lols
making to a closer friend now. [=

why i can up to here so late?
i got class at 12pm tomorrow ! yey!~ i can have my sweet dream tonight.
i though of sleeping earlier but i just couldnt fall asleep.
da room is still very very alienated for me. sigh.
before i close my eyes, i will look around.
so crazee ya..^^
hope can adapt well in this room very very soon.haha..

Utarian's life. =þ

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